time pαsses everything but the pαst

it's been a while , a long long time since i've been here

where do i start or rather when does it end? So since the 5 day of crashing, its only been downhill from there. A quick recap: we've talked, a boyfriend has stepped in, the boyfriend has stepped out and im dying to talk to you...again.

its inevitable, i need you in my life. and unfourtunately you arent anywhere close to me. so my plan of action is as follows...

1. attempt to message you, sparking a friendly conversation

2. possibly run into you somehow somewhere

3. bravely pick up the phone and say something worth saying

4. drown myself in your memory

(note: i have attempted #1 which resulted in no response and offline)

So what's left to lose you may be wondering? well i guess im scared of embarassment and rejection. the two things ive typically avoided my entire life, leading up to a chainreaction of screw ups and mistakes. but am i willing to risk it all?

weighing my options, i think ive mentally and physically prepared myself for this. how much more can i cry? how much more can i fight for this if its not something you think you need?

so tonight will ignite my future...now whether the flame will die out is the question