Matter Of Time

Probably less than 10 minutes later and I'm back to blogging. Why? Because I can't speak my thoughts but I feel like I can write them. I am playing pretend, or rather I've been playing pretend. A life with no closure and reasoning is a life of no life; this is my life. My mind always drifts back to the days when I was 15 and vivacious. Now I'm 18, miserable and desperately clinging for some sort of "umph" in my life.

I know what I have to do, it's doing it that's the problem. Not for my sake, but for the sake of one. I need strength to do it, but I don't want to lose it all. I have brought this all upon myself and now I know I will have to suffer the consequences. This undeniable fear I have in my gut is not something to sleep off or avoid. It slips into my mind with the rays of the morning and the dew of the night. I will never do this again.

Nothing lasts forever, nothing lasts.