Turn My Pain To Passion

I've hit rock bottom and I know it because I want to cry. And crying just isnt me anymore. Not after him, I swore I'd never become weak in the knees. He helped me find my independence, but why do I feel like I need you. I need something, because maybe I'm afraid of being alone. I've been alone but I always had some sort of replacement. I finally find someone who can set me free and it has to end. I can't even stand on my own now, and quite frankly every part of me hurts. Yeah, I went to Gren and he pushed me had for training purposes, but my heart should beat this fast.

To turn my pain to passion, impossible. I live a double life. By day, I play the "too good to be true friend" and by night i'm the "yearning mess that is currently second best." I think I need to focus on something greater than this. Since when do emotions get to me. Or that simply is the problem, I bottled it up for over a year and now "ka-BOOM". Disaster stands around me, away he goes.

This is dedicated to Rachel Ann and my heart. Two objects of true affection in my life. I pray we see brighter days, I know we will. Until then, you always have me.

This is my second post in one day, I guess it takes a miracle to make me work like this. But this is one miracle I wish I could return in exchange for something better. I dont know what more I want anymore. Maybe this is the phase when I change completely and stick to this new-found persona. Im so used to rebounding and revenge that I no longer know how to talk. It's such a shame to see me go to waste.